{"id":3091,"date":"2005-06-28T16:59:36","date_gmt":"2005-06-28T20:59:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.icsom.org\/senzasordino\/?p=3091"},"modified":"2020-03-28T17:00:57","modified_gmt":"2020-03-28T21:00:57","slug":"high-noon-at-the-not-so-ok-corral","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.icsom.org\/senzasordino\/2005\/06\/high-noon-at-the-not-so-ok-corral\/","title":{"rendered":"High Noon at the Not-So-OK Corral"},"content":{"rendered":"

The following tale is a dramatization of recent life in a certain midwestern orchestra. Names have been changed to protect the innocent from lawsuits. Barely.<\/em> <\/p>\n

M<\/span>arch 1, 2005. Dawn in the dusty town of St. Louee Gulch. As the sun rises slowly over a wasted musical community, bits of light glance off rusted hopes, dented dreams, shattered illusions. A lonely bird, pipin\u2019 fragments of a once great melody, mourns quietly over broken bodies scattered \u2019bout the silent streets, carnage from one of the more bitterly fought battles in recent musical labor history. <\/p>\n

The inhabitants awake dazed \u2019n battered, preparin\u2019 to head back to work for the first time in two long months. The joy of music makin\u2019 which made their workplace so special for so many years, now seems as far away as the burnin\u2019 orb pitilessly illuminatin\u2019 the wreckage of their once bustlin\u2019 orchestra. Most stumble out, wonderin\u2019 what the hell has happened, and why? <\/p>\n

For many, the sadness is swept away by seethin\u2019 waves of anger. How did the despicable Rattams Gang git control of their unsuspectin\u2019 town? What\u2019s the Gang\u2019s long range plan? Will there be anyone left musically alive? Finally and most importantly, how can we get rid of these sons of \u2014\u2014es? <\/p>\n

This whole sorry midwestern tale probably had its roots some 10 years earlier. The orchestra was pretty much saddled up \u2019n ridin\u2019, with tours, recordings, many different concert series, a purty full compliment a\u2019 players, cattle drives to Carnegie Hall, and the general spirit that what any other orchestra could do, St. Louis could do, maybe even a little better. It was quick on the draw, if a little wild in the aim, and it was seen as a time of growth and prosperity. There were minor grumblings \u2019bout a deficit, but the financial mule of the Symphony seemed to shamble along from year to year without too much snortin\u2019. <\/p>\n

As the saloon doors of staff did their inevitable swing, a new outfit of administrative, marketing, and financial hands began cleanin\u2019 out the stables of their predecessors. The Fiscal Experts suddenly started shoutin\u2019: \u201cStampede! Help! The Endowment\u2019s runnin\u2019 away! Stop it! Ever\u2019body, stop what you\u2019re doin\u2019 and help, for gosh sakes!\u201d <\/p>\n

And so everyone did. The contract was hauled out and skinned, the staff herd was cut in half, the orchestra was cut down, the season and the pay were put on starvation rations. In the general atmosphere of panic and emergency, a spirit of mutual interest prevailed in trying to pull the orchestra ranch through this crisis. A solemn promise by the sheriff, to bring the orchestra back to full acreage once the endowment was back in the saddle, kept the orchestra\u2019s hopes up through the tough times. The orchestra continued to git smaller as people hung up their spurs or jumped to different outfits. But it was bidin\u2019 its time, with its spirit and idealism largely intact. <\/p>\n

This was only a few months after that fateful day in December of 2000 when Dandy Aylor stepped up onto the stage with a $40 million bag of gold, announcin\u2019 it was the Symphony\u2019s if\u2019n it could match it. You could hardly hear yerself pizzicato with the hullabaloo that erupted. \u201cGold! Gold! I\u2019ve discovered gold!\u201d Everyone ran around plum loco \u2019n starry eyed, staggerin\u2019 from one press conference ta the next. So now, finally, with imminent financial doom staring them in the face, did everyone get down to work raising a serious endowment. There were just a couple a\u2019 lil\u2019 hitches. The annual operatin\u2019 budget and the season were cut by about 25%, and a banker guy who was brought in as a financial sheriff, Andy Rattams, took over the whole joint. A few orchestra hands wondered why nobody ever went to jail for the accountin\u2019 hanky panky. But whoever they were, they were long gone into the sunset. So everyone just tightened their belts \u2019n got down to work. <\/p>\n

As it turned out, Sheriff Rattams had a real different management style than the other hombres who\u2019d passed through. What he said went. A spirit of mutual cooperation and interest meant you did what he said. Period. Might as well shoot yerself in the haid as try \u2019n convince Rattams to change his plan. He began pourin\u2019 ever\u2019 last cent down that deep endowment well, and the big Aylor grant was matched six whole months early. A bunch more money was raised, but instead of puttin\u2019 a little bit a\u2019 that cash into restorin\u2019 the orchestra salaries like he promised, he poured it right in after the other moolah and told the orchestra to shove it. <\/p>\n

To get his way, he snookered the whole symphony board into believin\u2019 every last figure of the gloom \u2019n doom prediction (four years till busted \u2019n broke \u2019n bitin\u2019 the dust). His \u201ckill-\u2019em-to-save-\u2019em\u201d medicine was part a\u2019 the package from the very beginnin\u2019, but he covered it up with all sorts a\u2019 flowery talk \u2019bout preservin\u2019 artistic greatness \u2019n stuff. The tone-deaf son-of-a-gun had the joint by the oysters and was a\u2019 swingin\u2019 it over his head like the biggest lassoo ya\u2019 ever saw. As that gold started bein\u2019 roped in ($136 million of it), \u2019n Rattams started sittin\u2019 on top of it, they was no way he was gonna spend even a dime to feed his poor horse. It just twernt in his basic banker nature. He\u2019d ride that mount till it dropped, then just git another one. <\/p>\n

So \u201cnegotiations\u201d started on the new orchestra contract. The first meetin\u2019 was back in December of \u201903 and was called a \u201cplannin\u2019 session\u201d by the management. The plan was to work without lawyers till we come to an agreement. By the third meetin\u2019 it became purty clear that Rattams\u2019 plan was to get us to do exactly what he wanted. That was basically to commit to separate plans that depended on the amount of new guaranteed funding they happened ta cook up. <\/p>\n

Ya see, the Missoura territory has this funny law whereby the voters let themselves be taxed ta support specific nonprofit institutions; it\u2019s called the Zoo-Museum District (ZMD), and the Symphony was makin\u2019 another run at gittin\u2019 in, \u2019coz it would set \u2019em up purty fer life. (They done got thar butts whupped the first time they tried it, when the voters thought they was all a bunch a\u2019 Lexus-drivin\u2019 West County folk. Imagine that!) So what the Rattams Gang wanted the orchestra to do was commit to one plan with ZMD and to a different one without it, in the unlikely event it didn\u2019t quite work out. (Guess which one sucked rattlesnake eggs.) <\/p>\n

Mostly, the \u201cplannin\u2019 sessions\u201d were just brain fryin\u2019 hours spent listenin\u2019 ta Their Financial Predictions, ta the line \u201cWE CAN\u2019T SPEND WHAT WE DON\u2019T HAVE\u201d (say this line like a robot, while payin\u2019 cash fer yer Lexus), an\u2019 ta ever\u2019one\u2019s favorite: \u201cI\u2019m only the messenger.\u201d <\/p>\n

And so the \u201cplannin\u2019 sessions\u201d from January to July of \u201804 turned out ta be just \u201cplanin\u2019 sessions\u201d\u2014slowly planin\u2019 slices of intelligence and good will offa\u2019 the folks forced ta sit through \u2019em. Then the musicians brought in their big-time lawyer, good ol\u2019 Doc Leibowitz. Surprise, surprise, the management decided not ta go the ZMD route. (It costs \u2019em big bucks to stick sumthin\u2019 on the election ballot. Even though it was all new management folks about to choke on that same piece of gristle, somebody musta\u2019 pounded some sense inta thar thick skulls.) So Rattams claimed he had nothin\u2019 ta offer. He\u2019d try\u2019n raise some dough by December \u201904, he said, so he wanted to nail down the other contractual stuff. \u2019Course, the good guys were smart \u2019nuff ta know that ain\u2019t how ya do it. Ya gots ta tackle the hard parts first so\u2019s ya got sumthin\u2019 ta give up if ya needs to. <\/p>\n

In September, the Gang offered $61,000\u2014a great deal if yer partial to a 17% pay cut on top of the one ya already done been swallowin\u2019 fer four years. Here we were havin\u2019 that \u201cretention bonus\u201d baloney shoved in our faces agin. The retention bonus, accordin\u2019 to the bad guys, was the \u201cextra\u201d $12,900 on top on our \u201ctrue salary\u201d of $61,000. Usin\u2019 this logic, the Rattams Gang was offerin\u2019 just a little superficial wage-freeze wound. Unfortunately, the bullet woulda felt like it was goin\u2019 in a heck of a lot deeper. Surprise, surprise, the orchestra voted it down. Met once more in October. Decided to cancel all meetings til management had sumthin\u2019 ta offer. <\/p>\n

On December 27 the meetings began again, just about the time I dragged myself inta the hospital with an aorta about ta blow. A week later I stumbled out, with a pig valve in my chest \u2019n some purty impressive doctor tattoos on my abdomen\u2014just in time to find my health insurance and paycheck missin\u2019. Now those hombres were gonna make us dance, pardner! <\/p>\n

At this point we should tell ya \u2019bout another character in this horse opry goin\u2019 by the name of Losin \u201cStarve-em-out\u201d Sim. By firin\u2019 a few other people in the way, Rattams (by now referred to as \u201cBig Rat\u201d) set her up as orchestra manager. Well, Calamity Sue, as she became known, was kinda\u2019 like the wolf guardin\u2019 the chicken coop. She\u2019d shoot her horse to make it go faster. In terms a\u2019 the orchestra she was in charge of, she done come up with some a\u2019 the nastier things that went on. Once the orchestra started diggin\u2019 in its heels \u2019n circlin\u2019 the wagons, Calamity Sue mighta\u2019 cooked their children up as soup bones if\u2019n she got the chance. She were one fearsome varmint. <\/p>\n

On January 3 the orchestra turned down the \u201clast, best, and final offer,\u201d which was the same fertilizer bein\u2019 offered up on a different dirty platter. I actually made it to the meetin\u2019, lookin like a piece a\u2019 bad hide. But I added my vote to the virtually unanimous one there, and we started settin\u2019 the various work stoppage committees into gear. Doc Leibowitz was purty confident management was engaging in a lockout, with the auditions bein\u2019 cancelled without warnin\u2019 and the locks bein\u2019 changed on us even before we voted. So we called it a lockout, simple folk that we be. <\/p>\n

\"\"

Author, December 29, 2004, four days before health insurance is cut off<\/p><\/div>I have ta admit, I missed a lotta\u2019 the next coupla\u2019 months. Just couldn\u2019t stay outta the hospital coz a\u2019 some nasty post-surgery infection. I reckon it was a purty special time for the orchestra, though, with all the great concerts they put on, little \u2019n big, \u2019n potlucks, \u2019n newsletters, \u2019n website, \u2019n tons of amazin\u2019 support (like $120,000 in cold hard cash) from other ICSOM outfits. Letters in support of us piled up at the newspapers, \u2019specially after they cut our health insurance off. Evidently that\u2019s a bit of a sore point fer a lotta\u2019 folks right now. By the way, the management had darn good lawyers. Somebody over there figured out how exposed their legal posteriors were when they cut off insurance to the people on medical leave. <\/p>\n

In just a few weeks I had my insurance back, along with a few other hurtin\u2019 buddies. A missed opportunity to haul the Gang off to the pokey in front a\u2019 TV cameras? <\/p>\n

But it was still a tough time. The Rattams Gang was actually turning down donations towards musician salaries so\u2019s they could stick it to us. All in all, it was pretty outrageous what they got away with. Some folks think it were personal fer Rattams. He\u2019d heard that Doc Leibowitz was a management buster, and damned if he was gonna lose to Leibowitz, even if Rattams lost the support a\u2019 the orchestra and the whole rest a\u2019 the town. <\/p>\n

Towards the end a\u2019 February, the Rattams Gang made their biggest move. Waitin\u2019 until Doc Leibowitz was outa town tendin\u2019 ta some other patient, in through the back door burst the local union, with a preliminary NLRB ruling (that it was an illegal strike and not a lockout) held to their sorry heads. Sittin\u2019 down at a table on Thursday night, February 24, the meetin\u2019 was presided over by the president of the St. Louee Labor Council, showin\u2019 his mean jaw and packin\u2019 a nine millimeter at his hip (true). The agreement that came outa\u2019 that meetin was shoved in front a\u2019 the orchestra on Saturday mornin\u2019 at the union hall (a room \u2019bout the size of a three-stall outhouse, with matchin\u2019 air circulation). The ballots were already in the mail ta everyone. As the meetin\u2019 ground on, with various orchestra business bein\u2019 conducted in preparation for returnin\u2019 ta work, it began ta dawn on a few people that we weren\u2019t actually talkin\u2019 much about the contract, \u2019specially \u2019bout how this agreement had suddenly been reached. High noon approached, and along with it a feelin\u2019 a\u2019 desperation. People were gittin\u2019 up \u2019n leavin\u2019 for various commitments like family and teachin\u2019. A handful a\u2019 brave souls stuck around to bang it out, and these people larned more of the details \u2019bout how this came about. I think that, just about to a person, these people voted NO. There\u2019s a good chance that if only a dozen more people had stuck around, that contract and that gang would not\u2019ve survived. <\/p>\n

But they didn\u2019t, and the contract passed, and the Andy Rattams Gang is still in charge. <\/p>\n

The papers seem ta think everythin\u2019s all hunky-dory now that we\u2019re back ta makin\u2019 great music \u2019n all. And we are glad ta be playin\u2019 agin, \u2019specially with that rarest a\u2019 breeds, a good conductor. But it\u2019s a long, underpaid summer, with a bunch a\u2019 folks with memories \u2019n motives. This Gang better watch it\u2019s sorry behinds. We\u2019re thinkin\u2019 those swingin\u2019 doors\u2019ll be helpin\u2019 em on thar way. <\/p>\n

Christian Woehr is the ICSOM delegate and a violist for the Saint Louis Symphony Orchestra. Born in Dallas, Texas, to two founding members of the modern Dallas Symphony, he and his five string-playing siblings grew up as \u201corchestra brats,\u201d following their musician parents from orchestra to orchestra, mostly the Pittsburgh and Chautauqua Symphony Orchestras. His sister, Mary, is now a violist in the Baltimore Symphony. Chris is a prolific composer, and the last remaining non-driver in the SLSO. <\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The following tale is a dramatization of recent life in a certain midwestern orchestra. Names have been changed to protect the innocent from lawsuits. Barely. March 1, 2005. Dawn in the dusty town of St. Louee Gulch. As the sun rises slowly over a wasted musical community, bits of light glance off rusted hopes, dented… [Read more]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[221],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-3091","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-june-2005","7":"entry","8":"has-post-thumbnail"},"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nHigh Noon at the Not-So-OK Corral | Senza Sordino<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.icsom.org\/senzasordino\/2005\/06\/high-noon-at-the-not-so-ok-corral\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"High Noon at the Not-So-OK Corral | Senza Sordino\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"The following tale is a dramatization of recent life in a certain midwestern orchestra. 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